Call someone this weekend: why a real conversation matters

If you work from home or on your own, you can get to Friday without having had a real conversation all week. Plenty of messages, a few video calls about work, nothing that was just talk. A weekend call with a friend or a family member is one of the simplest ways to fix that: half an hour with someone who knows you, and no agenda.

This post covers why that call matters more than it seems, why it is so easy to put off, and a few ways to make it happen without having to remember it every single week.

Why a real conversation matters

People are social, and research backs up what most of us feel. Strong social ties are linked with better mental and physical health, and large reviews of the evidence have linked weak ties and isolation with poorer health and shorter lives. In 2023 the US Surgeon General published an advisory on loneliness and isolation, describing them as a public health concern.

Work talk doesn't fully count. A video standup or a quick chat about a deadline keeps you connected to your colleagues, but it is not the same as talking to someone about your life. Remote work also removes the small, unplanned conversations an office is full of, by the kettle or on the walk to lunch, and those are often the ones people miss.

None of this means you need a packed social calendar. Often one good conversation with someone close is enough to make a week feel less flat.

Why a call, not a message

Messages are good for staying in touch. Hearing someone's voice does something more.

Small experiments suggest that people expect a phone call to feel more awkward than texting, then find it isn't, and that talking leaves them feeling closer than typing does. Other studies suggest we underestimate how much people appreciate hearing from us out of the blue. Put together, the call you keep putting off is probably less awkward than you fear, and more welcome than you think.

A call also has room for the things that don't fit in a message: how someone sounds, the long version of the story, the tangent that turns out to be the best part.

It doesn't have to be video. A voice call lets you walk, cook or lie on the couch while you talk, and many people find it more relaxed than watching their own face in the corner of a screen.

Why it keeps sliding to next weekend

• It feels like it needs a reason. It doesn't. "I was thinking of you" is a reason.
• Weekends fill up. Errands, chores and rest take the hours, and the call drifts to next Saturday.
• Time zones and routines. Friends in other cities, parents who go to bed early, people with small children.
• The longer it has been, the harder it feels. After months of silence, the first call seems to need an apology. It doesn't need one of those either.

Ways to make it easy

Set up a standing call

The most reliable trick is to stop deciding. Agree on a regular slot, like Sunday morning with a parent or every other Saturday afternoon with an old friend. Put it in Calendar as a repeating event, so neither of you has to arrange it each time. If one week doesn't work, skip it; the next one is already there.

Walk and talk

Call while you walk. You get out of the house, you move after a week at the desk, and many people find conversation flows more easily when they are walking. A pair of earbuds, a loop around the park, and a friend who is also out walking somewhere. If most of your week is spent in a chair, work from home and barely moving has more ways to get up.

Pair it with a chore

Call while you cook, fold laundry or water the plants. The call stops being one more item on the weekend's list, and the chore feels shorter.

Lower the bar

Fifteen minutes is a real call. Send a text first if that helps: "Got a few minutes for a call this afternoon?" takes the surprise out of it for both of you. On a Mac, FaceTime makes audio calls as well as video ones, if you would rather not hold a phone.

Keep a short list

Write down four or five people you would like to talk to more often. When the weekend comes, you don't have to think of someone. Just call the next name on the list. And if someone crossed your mind during the week, because of a song, a photo or a place, start with them, and tell them that is why you called.

Say you want to do it again

At the end of a good call, say so. "I liked this, can we do it every couple of weeks?" turns one call into a habit for both of you, and the other person is often glad someone said it first.

A weekend nudge from the notch

Weekends are the hardest time to remember, because there is no routine to hang the call on. Notchpals covers that gap with its Call someone moment. If Boba the dragon is your Self-care pick, it turns up once a week, on a Saturday or Sunday sometime between 11 AM and 7 PM when you happen to be at the Mac, and suggests a call.

BobaSomeone would be so happy to hear your voice! I would! Call them?

Press Done once you have called, or once you have picked the name and the time. If you are halfway through something, Later buys you 20 minutes and one more ask, and a second Later lets it go. If you make the call from your Mac with FaceTime, nobody in the crew will pop up mid-sentence: they all wait while the microphone is live. And if you are at the Mac on a Saturday for work, a Schedule character, if you have one, peeks out once you have been at it for 45 minutes, which working on weekends covers in more detail. That is often the best moment to close the laptop and make the call properly.

If loneliness is more than a quiet week

Feeling lonely now and then is common, and it is not a personal failing. But if it has been heavy for a long time, or it comes with low mood, trouble sleeping or losing interest in things you used to enjoy, talk to a doctor or a counselor. For people who work alone, regular in-person contact helps too: a class, a club, volunteering, a coworking space a day or two a week. A weekly call is a good start, not the whole answer.